


Awakening

by Sophia_Ren



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Badass Rey, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Dark Side Rey, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Jedi Ben Solo, Kylo Ren Backstory, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, Smuggler Ben Solo, Soft Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26564437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia_Ren/pseuds/Sophia_Ren
Summary: Ben is your average smuggler guy with his crew of two -  Finn and Rose Tico. But suddenly, everything changes when he encounters Poe Dameron and he has a way to reach out Ben's estranged uncles, the legendary Luke Skywalker.Kira Ren is the ruthless master of the Knights of Ren, and the perfect apprentice of Snoke, the mysterious figure that's taking over the galaxy step by step.The force has them meeting on opposite sides of the war but the decisions they will have to make will save or doom the whole galaxy.---in other words, a retelling of the sequel saga with dark Rey and smuggler/jedi Ben Solo
Relationships: Reylo
Comments: 14
Kudos: 22





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone! this is the first time in years that I'm attempting at writing a fanfic and I'm pretty excited! this story is firstly divided in 3 parts but I'm expecting to expand it a bit further if all goes well! I hope everyone likes this retelling as much as I love writing it :)  
> sorry for any grammar mistakes but English isn't my first language 😅

Lor San Tekka knew it would be a matter of time until the First Order would catch up on his whereabouts and findings. But he never thought it would be so soon. He looked at the resistance fighter in front of him as the hut was submerged in the sound of loud air engines landing a few meters from them. He placed the wayfinder in the hands of Poe Dameron. “Go, I’ll stall them as much as I can” the fighter was about to argue back, but San Tekka continued, “if it ends up in the wrong hands it would be the end of the Jedi” he took a deep breathe, “This is a wayfinder, it can show you Luke Skywalker’s whereabouts but only a force sensitive individual can actually use it”.  
Poe Dameron looked with a raised brow at the old triangular object, “are you sure? this thing?”. Lor San Tekka nodded and pushed him to the back door, “now go, we don’t have much…”  
A huge blast cut the old man off. The huge flash had blew Dameron’s x-wing into pieces. BB-8 shrieked beside him. They had to walk to the nearest village or city (he doubted Jakku had any kind of city, but still, it was worth the risk). Using the night as cover, droid and men started to run away from the small desert hut. Not once did Dameron look back, too afraid he could lose precious time. They had a chance to bring Luke Skywalker back. Lor San Tekka’s sacrifice would not be in vain.


	2. A Rough Day

> Was Ben’s old and cranky ship crashing through the atmosphere of a backwater planet? Probably.  
>  But was Ben panicking? Hm…no.  
>  The same couldn’t be said to Finn who had been screaming for minutes while shaking him violently. But, truth be told, Finn had a talent for overreacting. Ben knew that if Tico hadn’t come up to them to say her goodbyes it meant they weren’t in danger of dying. They had been in many situations like the one they were at the moment and they had survived just fine.  
>  “You prick, are you even listening to what I’m saying!” Finn grabbed him by the arm, yanking him back to reality, “I told you that you had to get rid of this stupid ship when we had the chance, and now we’re dying because you caught feelings for an old piece of junk!”. Finn’s watery eyes stared right into Ben’s. He pushed the other away. “First of all,” he said, getting up from his seat “don’t call my Golden Eagle a piece of junk. Second of all, she has taken us to all of our previous jobs and she always managed”.  
>  Finn rolled his eyes, “She?? It’s a freaking IT! IT’S A PIECE OF JUNK NOT A PERSON, YOU WEIRDO”.  
>  Ben pointed a long and judgy finger at the other, “hey, hey, watch it” and turned his back.  
>  “Where are you going??”  
>  “To see Tico” and he left the navigation room. _Gosh, he’s damn annoying._  
>  The ship was shaking violently making it hard to walk around. Ben took a deep breath, he hated doing this. He tried to calm his mind and his shaking body. He counted to three, feeling the warm energy building up in his stomach. He always felt sick when channeling the force, like his body hadn’t been made for a force sensitive. He frowned, trying to keep that thought away from his mind. He need to be focused, feeling the energy around him to shift and embracing the whole aircraft. Although the ship was somewhat small, it was still too much for someone who hadn’t used the force in so long.  
>  Luke would’ve told him to push harder. His lips twisted in an angry grin. _Clear your mind Ben, clear your damn mind_. He pushed harder, letting the force surround the ship, making in glide smoothly through the air. His heart pounded hard inside his chest, it was too much energy after months of not using the force. _Just keep going, only a few more minutes._ The aircraft kept gliding in the air and he could almost see Finn’s incredulous face as Golden Eagle was able to make another successful landing.  
>  Golden Eagle landed on the desert planet with a loud clank. He really needed to change ships soon because someday not even his force ability would be able to save them. He could never forgive him if anything happened to Tico. She was like the sister he had never had. And probably the only person who had ever cared for him.  
>  The memories of summer nights as a child stung him but quickly disappeared. He had more important things to focus now.  
>  “How are we still alive?!” Finn opened the door from the navigation room at the same time as Rose ran through the small corridor that led to the canon room. Her tanned cheeks were pale and yellow-ish, as if she would throw up at any moment. “Another miracle!” she answered, sparing a quick glance at Ben.  
>  She had caught him use the force to fix the ship before. Thankfully she had promised she would keep it a secret. Finn was already a pain in the ass by always asking about Han Solo and how was he off duty. He didn’t want him to keep asking questions about Luke Skywalker. For all Ben knew, he was dead. Or alive. Or in between worlds. It didn’t matter to him. He had disappeared years ago when the First Order started their campaign of terror against the peace established throughout the galaxy.  
>  “The universe works in mysterious ways” Ben shrugged, “okay, we have a job to do.”  
>  It was a simple task, to be honest. They just needed to come collect some old pieces from ancient Empire ships to be sold as memorabilia or collectibles. People had weird tastes. If at least they had interest in ancient jedi books, he could comprehend the high prices practiced in auctions for just scraps of old ships. The past was important but only on a historical and logical way. You should just kill what didn’t matter.  
>  “Let’s go”, he said opening the ships main doors.  
>  The warmth hit him in a shock wave. It felt like the sun was trapped inside his shirt, eating away his skin. His brows frowned as he walked towards the small nasty-looking desert market. He gestured to Finn and Rose to follow him to one of the many tents. The only water in sight was a small muddy-pond where only a few small animals drank. Living here must be hell, Ben thought feeling the sweat dropping like a waterfall from his body. He couldn’t wait to leave.  
>  If a human had sex with a gargoyle the outcome would’ve bee Unkar Plutt, the owner of the tent that had business with the small crew. He also smelled like what Ben thought a gargoyle would smell. He was 2 meters tall with pink burn-looked skin and cruel eyes. They had met him three times total and he hated the strange creature.  
>  “Plutt”  
>  “Solo”  
>  He really needed to get a new name to use while doing business.   
>  Unkar pointed at a five metal boxes at the back of the store, “that’s all for today” he announced, leaving the trio alone.  
>  _Golden Eagle had almost crashed for five metal boxes? Damn…_  
>  It would also be a miracle if the ship could do one last galactic trip before its impending doom.  
>  “Do you think we’ll ever be filthy rich?” Finn deliberated as he carried one of the boxes to the Golden Eagle.  
>  “Well, filthy you already are” Ben grunted as he picked another metal box. It was too heavy. “Tico you don’t need to carry it, just go check if the Eagle is okay”.  
>  Rose nodded and went inside the ship without another word.  
>  Finn and Ben kept working in silence. Ben loved when Finn would just be silent. He understood being a member of his crew wasn’t everybody’s dream job. And Finn was a defector from the First Order who had big plans for his own life. Ben remembered the first time he had seen Finn. It was two years ago. The boy was a scrawny looking thing – he had spent months running away from the First Order. Ben had an order to hunt him down; instead he faked Finn’s death and hired him as a crew member. Finn had accepted, better be behind a Solo’s back than dead.  
>  Work was slow under the scorching sun. His dark shirt and pants were sticking to every inch of his body like a second skin. And the Eagle didn’t have any showers. He would have to wait until arriving to their base-planet.  
>  He was loading the last box inside the ship when a tingling sensation ringed in his hears. The sun was starting to set on the horizon shooting orange and red hues into the sky. Ben shook his head, hoping it would go away. But it didn’t. Instead it got even worse. Like the feeling one gets after a thunder storm when static waves freely in the air. The force around him shifted, pushing him out of the spaceship. _Weird_. He thought with a scowl. _Ignore it_. But his feet were already moving. The market was almost empty now. A light breeze blew coming north.  
>  Instinctively, his hand landed on the blaster resting at this waist.  
>  “What’s wrong?” Rose broke him from his trance, tugging at his shirt.  
>  “I don’t know…” he blinked, “something just feels off”.  
>  Finn had also come out, looking at Ben a few meters ahead of him. Rose looked behind her, locking eyes with Finn. She shrugged, as confused as he was. Finn opened his mouth but before he could say something a figure coming from the left crushed against Ben’s side. He was much shorter than his boss and was wearing pilot atire… but no ship in sight. His hair was a mess of sweaty curly hair falling to his eyes.  
>  Ben caught the guy as soon as he went face first against his left side. Something about the stranger felt, unironically, very familiar. He searched his face trying to figure out where had he seen it.  
>  “Solo? You’re Ben Solo, aren’t you?” _oh boy_ … “It’s me, Poe Dameron! Remember?” _Oh no_ …  
>  Poe Dameron had always been Leia Organa’s golden boy. He had everything Ben lacked – strong convictions, a natural born-leader spirit and no force sensitivity to make him be sent to train with his weird uncle on some forgotten planet at the end of the galaxy. He hated this man as much he envied him.  
>  A small white orange droid biped at Dameron’s feet.  
>  “We don’t have much time, we need to leave immediately!” Poe grabbed Ben by the arm.  
>  It was Rose who spoke first, “wait why?”  
>  “Well, the First Ord-“  
>  A shriek echoed through the air, a sound Ben knew too well. A second later a blue blast busted through the market in their direction, but Ben was already channeling the force around him and his crew, creating a protective dome around them. The second mysterious blast was too quick but not as spot on as the first one, finding its final spot on Golden Eagle. Ben wanted to scream but there was no time, they needed to start moving. The people who still were at the market were running around, trying to find a place to hide in this wretched desert planet.  
>  “What is happening!? What the hell is happening???”  
>  “Finn, not now! Keep following me!”  
>  Another shriek pierced the dry air. Ben only had time to turn and outstretch his hand, catching the blast mid-flight. He looked around, finally founding the author of the shootings. A dark figure was moving around a treadspeeder bike. _You’re done_ , he thought to himself with a cocky expression on his face, as he pushed the blast towards the mysterious enemy. They moved quickly, escaping the blast for a few inches. The group continued to running to the freighter closer to them. It was half-covered and dusty but it also brought the same sense of familiarity as Poe Dameron when Ben first saw him.  
>  “Go inside, go inside!” Ben ordered, stopping another blast before it could reach them. It was the first time in years that Ben had used the force more than one time in a day, he was drained. But no way would he die on Jakku by a weirdo on a bike. He grabbed his blaster, aiming at the strange figure all clad in black clothes. Although the speeder was fast, the blaster stroke past his opponent’s arms, shoving them off the speeder.  
>  He didn’t make sure the other was dead or alive; instead he started to run towards the freighter. The rest of the group had already started the engines, he noticed, as he jumped on the inside.  
>  He knew this ship. He felt sick. His stomach twisted and turned as he looked around the white paneled corridor. He had learned how to pilot in this piece of junk. _Hey, hey, watch it_ , his father warned him, _this is the Millennium Falcon you’re talking about_. What was dad’s Falcon doing here? And why had he found it? In all the planets existing in the damn universe… He fought the urge to jump out of the ship.  
>  As the Falcon’s door started to close it got farther and farther away from the ground. But then it stopped, then engines roared as it tried to take flight. _What now?!_ Ben looked at the ground where the dark figure was positioned with an outstretched hand. _They’re stopping the damn ship?_ Even in his mind his voice sounded several pitches higher than the usual. Who in the well was this person? Surely it couldn’t be… there was no way… a shiver ran down Solo’s spine. He didn’t have time to wonder who the mysterious person was, if they kept controlling using the force to stop the Falcon they would be done for.  
>  Your lessons at the Academy are being proven useful, aren’t they? He could almost see his uncle with a raised eyebrow and victorious smile on his old and wrinkled face. Ben pinched his nose bridge, taking a deep breathe. Another deep breathe. The ship was getting closer and closer to the ground.  
>  He looked for his connection to the force – it was everywhere. He grasped it, feeling it the connection between himself and the Falcon. He imagined his energy like a giant hand grabbing the freighter, taking it away from the stranger’s grasp. But, whoever that figure was, they were strong in the force. The Falcon kept rocking back and forth. They wouldn’t make it… not if Ben wasn’t smart. He aimed his blaster and shot at the dark figure. It didn’t touch them, but it had been enough to break their concentration and for the Falcon break free.  
>  Ben kept looking at the figure as they gained altitude. Only when the door closed did he went to the navigation room.


	3. Past Finds You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you like this next chapter! I would really appreciate to hear your feedback!! I'm planning on posting one more chapter and then posting once a week or two times a week :)

"What in the hell was that?! Are they coming for me?!" Ben could already hear the high-pitched screams from Finn from the other side of the door. He pinched his nose bridge; already preparing himself for the explosion of questions that would come out of the younger's mouth. He just wanted to take a nap and forget what happened – and where he was. This was really the Falcon... He was expecting his dad to show up any minute. Or to hear Chewie's growls coming from one of the rooms. It felt so far away and still too close in his memory.

He pushed the door button entering the navigation room. The image of Poe sitting on the pilot's seat was enough to send bile to his mouth. He would pay a good amount of money just to throw that human garbage out of the Falcon.

"Don't worry handsome" he winked at Finn, oh Ben hated him so damn much, "they're actually looking for me".

"Why?" Ben took a seat at one of the passenger's seat, waiting for the ship to enter on Light speed mode, "What do you have that makes the First Order so interested in you?".

"I'm so good looking they want to study me" Ben scowled, trying to keep his lunch inside his stomach. "I have Luke's wayfinder"

Ben froze in his seat. _Luke's_ _wayfinder_. It was probably his mom who had ordered for Poe to go on this mission. Luke could actually be reached out? Should he care? No, no he shouldn't. He had made a promise many years ago to himself. And still... He pushed the afterthought inside one of his mental drawers and locked it there.

"Luke Skywalker?! The jedi?"

"No, the milkman" Ben rolled his eyes, sometimes he really felt like he should had killed Finn when he had the chance.

"Isn't he your uncle?"

"Yes." Ben pointed a finger at Finn, "and no, I don't want to find him. If I may say, he made a favor to anyone when he disappeared. We should leave him alone".

"Your mother has been looking for him all over the galaxy. You know he's the only one who can stop the First Order from gaining the full control on the galaxy" Poe's smug expression had changed into a very serious one. Almost as if he was the actually Solo child. _Pathetic_. It didn't really matter.

"My mother is a dreamer, an idealist; Luke is just one man not a divinity with an all-power. He's just a force sensitive man, what is he going to do? Fight the entire army of the First Order?" Ben laughed at the idea, "That wayfinder won't even work; you need a force sensitive person to actually open it".

"You are force sensitive" Rose finally spoke, her dark bunny-like eyes fixated on Ben's.

"You're a what?!" Finn yelled out. His faced changed with sudden realization "That's why we escaped!"

Ben was growing tired of this conversation. He had signed up for five metal boxes full of empire crap not for a family reunion and a murderous force-sensitive trying to kill him. He hadn't even be able to say goodbye to his Eagle. He even had to encounter Poe Dameron... out of all the people in the whole universe.

"I'm going to sleep, land on the nearest planet. We'll drop you off there and we'll pretend this never happened" Poe's lips parted, ready to talk, "I'm not changing my mind".

"Solo!"

"It's Ben." A headache was starting to form at the cent of his head, "and don't you dare to bring my mother into this. My decision is final; I'm not going to help you find Skywalker."

The light of the ship turned an ominous red. _What_ _now_ _?_ He thought going for the beeping controls next to Poe Dameron. "What's happening?" Rose asked, while Poe and Ben tried to take control over the ship again. No response whatsoever came from the Falcon. "Someone is pulling the ship..." Ben kept pushing the controls he remembered, trying to ignore the pilot's presence next to him. His skin was feverish from rage. "Look!" Finn pointed to the top of the ship. A huge freighter was taking the Falcon inside and there was nothing they could do. Ben just hoped it had nothing to do with the First Order.

"There's no time, grab a weapon and let's prepare to attack!" Ben was the first out of the door with his blaster in hand. Poe was right behind him, with a frighten-looked Finn and Rose. They hid behind the first ship doors, with Ben taking the first one. He reclined his side against it, feeling the cool metal on his arm. The door slowly began to open and he heard a deep animalistic growl. He gripped his blaster harder. "Yeah yeah, I know" a human voice spoke. Ben hear steps walking inside, he took a deep breath and moved, ready to blast the face off these people.

He blinked. The old man with a raised gun also blinked.

"Son?"

Chewbacca growled a confused growl next to Han Solo.

"Dad?" , he chewed his own inner cheek at the word.

Ben hadn't seen his dad in the past eight years since everything had gone wrong. He looked way older than the last time he's seen him, but he guessed that was what time did to people. Han walked in on him, "the hell you're doing with the Falcon?".

"You're Han Solo? The real Han Solo?" Finn had gotten out of his hideaway, his eyes shone like those of a child. Han looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "I feel pretty real right now". His attention changed once again, but now to Poe Dameron.

"Han Solo"

"Hey kid!" He clapped Poe on the back, an affectionate action that he hadn't even granted to his own child. _You've_ _been_ _on non-speaking_ _terms_ _for_ _the_ _past_ _eight_ _years_ , but it still hurt. His heart was being reaped apart every second since dad and Chewie had entered the Falcon. He was lying; his heart had been aching since he entered the Falcon. "How's Leia?"

Poe shrugged, "things have been pretty chaotic since the First Order took power... but I just happened to found Skywalker's wayfinder." Poe pointed at the white and orange droid that was now circling Chewbacca. "The droid is the wayfinder?" Han sounded confused. Poe laughed, "no, the wayfinder is hidden inside him. But once Luke Skywalker is back it's going to be a turning point in this war." Ben hated how excited Poe was talking.

"Have you lot ever thought there's a reason why Skywalker doesn't want to be found? Or that there was a reason for him to runway in the first place?" Ben was feeling a burnout creeping in his skin and bones and muscles. He couldn't even look at his own dad while he was still too close to Dameron and various steps away from him. Like he was dangerous. Like he was venomous. "Luke is nothing but a sham, a liar!" Rage was bottling up in his blood.

"Kid, watch it." Han's voice was warningly, it didn't have the same warmth it did when he spoke to Poe. It had never been, even when he was growing up.

"You watch it" Ben's voice trembled, pointing a finger at him. They shared a look. A sad look. A knowing look. There was nothing Han or Ben could say. It was too late to even say anything. Ben hoped Han could feel any remorse, he searched for it in his dark hazel eyes, but he felt nothing. Ben turned around, he needed to take a nap.

***

Finn noticed how similar both of Solo's looked when standing next to each other. He also felt the tension between them as they shared a long dramatic stare, both had their brows frowned and a grave expression in their hooded eyes. The tension remained even when Ben left to his room. Han's shoulder relaxed as soon as Ben turned his back on him and he went to sat on the room's sofa. The furry-like animal growled, almost as if he was speaking. "I know Chewbacca, but let's just leave him be for now", Han pinched his nose.

"Han Solo, sir, mister" honorifics made him confused, "what happened between Skywalker and Ben?" Finn's heart pounded in his chest. Everyone turned to look at Han with eager expressions.

"A mistake" a shadow passed in his eyes, "so, where are you taking my Falcon?"

***

It was being a strange dream, Ben noticed, as he heard the chirping of birds not very far away from him. He could also smell rain surrounding him. His face turned into a frown.

His eyes suddenly opened up to the ship's ceiling. He was still on the Falcon. He did really meet with his father. But the sound of the outside world still rang in his hears. Had they already landed on some planet and had not woke him up? Who thought that was okay? He was the leader of the crew and the **RIGHTFUL** owner of the ship. He had found it.

Ben got up from his bed with a jolt. No doubt it had been Han's idea. Right now, he probably was paying them drinks at some second-class bar and giving the Falcon as a gift so he could travel the galaxy to help Leia. He probably was offering a job to Finn and Rose, arguing he could pay double the salary that Ben could pay them. The thoughts of Finn laughing at him surrounded by money kept coming to his head as he strode through the Falcon and into the outside world.

Grey clouds darkened the sky and a breeze crashed against Ben's face. The humidity was so strong here that Ben could feel the wetness sticking to his face. They had landed on a forest edge where someone had erected a small castle structure. Loud music could be heard from inside and the smell of rain mixed with the deep aroma of panoply of food. Ben's stomach growled against his will. And he could bet Finn's had done the exact same as soon as they had arrived.

He strode off into the castle. It was full of people and aliens and droids sitting in the various tables or dancing on the middle of the room. But, despite the crowded space with various voices talking over each other and the sound of music, Ben could distinguish Dameron's arrogant voice above them all. He followed it until he found dad and his crew gleefully talking with Dameron on a booth close to a window. Even Rose was talking and laughing like they were all best friends from years.

What made that sample of a man so likeable? Ben could never understand. He also refused to understand, but that was beside the point.

It was the annoying orange and white droid that gave the signal of alert to the group. Both Finn and Rose immediately straightened their backs as Ben approached. _Do I_ _look_ _that_ _terrifying_ _?_ Ben tried to set his brows straight but they kept furrowing against his will. Han had his eyes glued on him. He took a seat next to them, "Enjoying the meal? What's next? Let's all play happy families and live in the forest in contact with nature?" He clapped his hands excitingly.

"You always have to be such a killjoy, don't you?" Poe turned his attention to the other two, "Ben has always been like this, since he was a teenager. Always moody, for no reason at all." He sipped the liquor from his cup, "I had hoped the years at your uncle's academy, interacting with other teenagers, would help you soften a bit".

"Skywalker's temperament. Runs in the family" Han shook his head, grabbing his cup. Chewie agreed with a growl.

"You trained with Skywalker?" Finn's eyes were wide open, showing some signs of admiration for Ben for the first time ever.

Ben wished he was still napping.

"It doesn't matter if I trained or not." Today should have been going a hell lot smoother than it was actually doing. He had landed on Jakku, and now he was on some random planet having to unravel his past. With his dad by his side. Someone could have the mercy to kill him right now?

"Ben, are you sure you don't want to help your mother?" Rose placed a hand on his shoulder, casting a sympathetic look. It smelled a lot like pity to him.

"Yes. I don't have anything to do with the Resistance, Luke Skywalker or the Jedi. This is her battle and everyone involved." It was getting hot inside this damn place. "And if I may give you a piece of advice, don't believe in everything they say to you. Now if you excuse me".

As he was leaving he heard a sound coming from a small corridor. As he followed it he didn't notice a figure talking through a communicator.


	4. Visions

The corridor had led him into a small flight of stairs. He went down into another small corridor. The strange voices were getting louder with each step he took. _What more surprises could this day give him?_ Suddenly a door opened to a small dusty room. _Should I enter?_ He walked in. The only light was coming from the principal corridor but his attention went to an old wood chest. He kneeled in front of it, opening it up. Inside was a lightsaber. But not any lightsaber... Ben had seen this design various amounts of time when training with Luke. He remembered uncle sketching it to him so he could know how the Skywalker family lightsaber looked like. He had designed his own lightsaber to look as a copy of Anakin's.

Before he could leave the saber inside the box and pretend nothing had happened he was sucked into darkness. His vision came slowly but he was no longer inside the dark room, but instead he was in a lush forest. Smoke rose to the night sky a few meters away. Someone was standing on a pyre. The smell of human flesh was intoxicating. It was a funeral pyre. Ben approached it, trying to get a glimpse of the person standing. When the strangers looked forwards it was his uncle's green eyes that met his. And he was being pushed again snow and smoke blinding him. A figure all clad in black stepped into view, carrying a red saber staff. They tilted their head like a hunter scrutinizing their prey. Ben shivered in fear. The figure swayed their saber but when it stroked Ben his head was spinning once again. He now was in a room with metal walls. At the center, in a display stand, was the melted helmet of Darth Vader.

 _Take me out of here!_ He tried to scream, to make himself turn away and ran away from that evil reminder. His ribcage felt like it would collapse any moment now. And the room felt smaller and smaller, the helmet getting closer by the second. _No!_ Something pushed him over and, before the vision altered, he saw the mysterious figure with an arm outstretched. _They pushed him away_ , Ben didn't have much time to think about the meaning of it for he was already spinning inside the ocean of darkness. He rolled over on rock solid ground. The vibrations of waves a few meters below him was everything he could hear. Rain was falling heavily on him. A thunder cut the night sky giving away a figure above him, preparing to strike him. But, as his arm swung down, a red lightsaber protruded through the middle of his stomach. The figure fell on their knees. The all-black helmet wearing person had been standing behind them. They took a step forward and Ben was again looking at the wooden box. His hand gripped the lightsaber firmly. Trepidation ran through his face.

"So you found the lightsaber young Solo" some spoke beside him.

Ben turned, finding a small orange creature with wide round eyes. "How did you find this?" he said, shaking the lightsaber, "And who are you?" why was his voice sounding so high-pitched? He needed to calm down or he would have an heart attack before the end of the day. The orange creature gave him a sympathetic smile, the one's his mother used to give when he was a child and had messed up. "I'm Maz Kanata boy..." An explosion shook the entire castle.

_What now?_

"I'm afraid we don't have much time, young Solo" Maz got up, "are you planning on dying here?"

"Would that be so terrible?" Ben looked at the saber "I don't want it" he spoke, giving the saber to the creature.

"One cannot escape faith"

"Watch me try it" Ben was already running past Maz, he would find somewhere to hide and then would see if the Falcon survived for an escape flight.

*

Finn hear the sound of a bomb before its impact on the ground. The whole floor shook as the group was sent against the walls and floor. The pain was blinding and the sound was deafening. But, he still could hear the sound of walls and ceilings collapsing not very far over where they were. BB-8 was running around them, checking their vital signs. Finn helped Han get up, the old man was already with a blaster at hand, ready to take off. Chewbacca had already loaded his bowcaster. "The First Order? How did they find us?" Rose crawled close to him. Poe was already standing up, "we need to take cover, now! The Resistance should also be here any minute".

How had the First Order find them so soon? Someone must have ratted them out without them noticing. How could they have been so dumb, talking and laughing like they were on a work break? Now a fear was swarming deep into his heart. He had lived away from the First Order for three years... if he was captured now... He couldn't even imagine the horrible things Phasma would do to him before killing him off in a great execution for all the other stormtroopers. He would be set as an example of what they would do to deserters. He had to leave... he had to run away. He couldn't face them off... what if the stormtroopers arriving at Takodana had been his classmates, his batch mates?

He was going to throw up, he was sure. The world was spinning furiously around him.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Poe was gently squeezing his skin in a reassuring grip. His lips corner were pushed in a slight smile, "It's going to be okay, do you trust me?" _Hell no_ , but he wanted to trust him. Finn looked deeply into his warm chocolate brown eyes. Yeah, he wanted to trust Dameron. "Let's go!"

"Wait"

Through the rubble, Finn noticed the figure of Maz Kanata. Her small hand was clutching a cylindrical object. Another explosion was set off now on the backside of the castle, they really need to leave this place as soon as possible. Maz ran to them, placing the object on Finn's palm. On a closer look, he noticed it wasn't just any object but a lightsaber. _I am grabbing a lightsaber._ He was definitely going to pass out. "Give this to Ben".

"That's..." Solo started-

The sound of a blaster echoed but this time didn't reach the castle but something up in the air. An airship crashed into the ground with a loud banging uproar. The ground shook again with the force of a great earthquake. The resistance had arrived.

*

Kira stepped in Takodana with her staffsaber already turned on. Its red hues casting infernal shadows all around her as blasters sent off up in the air. Although she was wearing a mask she could feel the clamminess of the air penetrating her clothes. A white running figure caught her attention for her side vision. She remembered him as the guy who had bested her at trying to control the ship mid-air. He was running towards the forest, probably expecting to escape the First Order. She almost laughed. She would always have found him.

She followed him. The energy around him was very strong, leaving a trace wherever he went. It's almost like chasing a child with very small legs. It was almost fun, if she wasn't in a rush. She was racing now, slashing through the underbrush. He finally noticed her. His hooded eyes blazed in fear. But, at the same time as their eyes locked, her chest clumped. The hesitation lasted for just a second but it was enough for the man to grab his blaster and shot at her. Kira blocked it with her saber, again and again as he tried to escape. Another blaster met her saber, exploding like a small firework. She made her saber spin in the air, making it glide to her back and, already annoyed, as the guy aimed at her again she lifted her arm and stopped him.

She finally approached him, curiosity taking the best of her. He tried to move his paralyzed body, but her force-grip was to strong. There was nothing he could do now, like a bug trapped on a spider's web.

"I'm not afraid" he said between teeth.

"Your eyes say otherwise" Kira mocked, stepping closer, "we've met before?"

"I think I've never had the pleasure" _a jokester_ , she realized. She made a quick hand movement near his head. Emotions and memories rushed vividly into her.

But something surprised her.

In almost every memory, Luke Skywalker appeared. By a bonfire, telling dramatic tales of the Jedi. On a dark forest teaching the boy how to meditate. In a desert planet, leaving the boy alone to train. In a temple, leaving the boy alone once again. In a training camp demanding him to push forward in his force powers. The boy's was drained and soaked in rain. He should be 12 or 13 by his looks although he was already taller than most boys and even man. "But uncle!" he let out a exasperated scream.

Kira shook her head, looking at the boy all grown up now. Her eyes were wide behind the mask.

Kira shook her head, looking at the boy all grown up now. Her eyes were wide behind the mask.

"A Skywalker"

"I'm not"

"You'll be useful"

"But I'm n-"

With a quick swish of Kira's hand he was unconscious. She helped him get down on the ground and then called for two troopers close-by. "Carry him, we have what we need". 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked this chapter! again, sorry for any errors but English isn't my first language and I'm mostly doing this fanfic to have fun :)


	5. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! decided to post one more chapter this week ahah it would mean so much to me if you could leave some comments :) im really excited about this fanfic so it would make me so happy to hear some feedback

It was chaotic outside. The bombs had left the once ancient castle into ruins. The resistance x-wings cut through the sky but troopers were already on the ground, shooting to kill. Finn felt sick watching those white figures marching on - this would've been his life. What faces hid behind those masks? How many were there because they had been kidnapped by the First Order when they were just children? 

He really didn't want to fight them... But he would do what he needed to survive. He had come so long, he still wanted his nice house by the shore of some forgotten water planet. He didn't matter which one as long as the First Order couldn't reach out to him. He was no soldier slave. 

"Watch out!" Rose yelled out, grabbing him by the collar. A blaster crossed right through where he had been a few seconds before. 

"FN-2187!" the name froze him in his tracks. He hadn't been called that in so long. He was Finn. 

For the first time, he felt the weight of the lightsaber on his hand. He had never used a saber in his whole life but it was the only weapon at hand for the moment. He ignited it, casting a blue glow on his face. 

"Try to find Solo!" He ordered Rose, while Poe was already shooting aimlessly. Han and Chewie were back to back, shooting anyone who tried to attack them. The explosions above them shook the earth and air and smoke was all what he could smell. It was intoxicating him as he kept pushing past the soldiers. The saber cut through them as if they were paper. Finn had never felt so wrong. He hoped some of them would survive the injuries. 

Where the hell is Solo, the leader of the crew was nowhere in sight. The thought made him feel desperate. He and Solo weren't properly friends but Finn could not say he hated him. For so long Solo and Tico had been his family - his only family at that. Also, Solo was a force sensitive and a descendant of Skywalker. If the First Order knew that they could capture him to find Luke. That wouldn't happen, specially if the way finder was kept in the safety of BB-8.

Suddenly, the troops began to retreat. Finn stopped, confused. Why would they be leaving? He looked at Poe still seeing the small Droid close to his owner. The wayfinder was still in their hands. He took a deep breath, and then... 

"Ben!" He heared Han's voice a few meters from where he was. "Son!" He yelled again, the old man's voice barely a human shriek. Chewbacca was howling too. Finn looked in the direction he was looking... a few meters close to the edge of the forest there was Ben, unconscious, being dragged by two stormtroopers. The black clad figure that had attacked them was walking a few meters ahead. 

This isn't good. 

Before he could even think, his feet were already moving towards Ben but the ship was already closing. 

And before he could even scream, The First Order disappeared. 

***

Ben woke up in darkness. Only a small light had been place right above him, blinding him for a few moments. Did I die? I hope I did. He could not believe that even after all the years not talking to his family he was still being kidnapped because of them. Was he cursed? That was the most probable answer. 

He only noticed the dark figure when they moved their covered head, the metallic helmet shining in the dim light. 

"You've awoken"

"Are you going to announce every single thing I'm going to do?" you're in no position to be sassy Ben. 

"Where is your uncle?" the voice was cold behind the mask, as if wasn't even a person behind it. Maybe it wasn't. What kind of monster would associate themselves with the First Order? 

As if they were reading his mind, the figure unlatched their helmet. He was expecting a lot of things but the face of a young woman behind the mask wasn't one of them. She was younger than him, with a dark set of eyes and a freckled pale face. The bags under her eyes aged her up; she looked like she hadn't slept in years. He had to blink several times. His mind was still trying to process that the evil person wasn't a middle aged scarred man but a young person. Younger than him. 

"Surprised?" she taunted, a smirk twisting the corner of her mouth. 

"Get out of my head" he could feel her lurking through his mind, searching, taunting. He hated the feeling. He still remembered when his uncle would do it to him as a training lesson. He still hated it. 

"Uncle issues hm? That's new", if the act of rolling eyes was a person it would be her. He felt her mind exploring his memories during the Jedi training. 

"Get out" he tried to fight her back but she was too strong. Memories of the Jedi Academy kept flowing freely on his mind. The sleepless nights, his friends during classes, the smell of old books when he spent his afternoons at the library. He also remembered the times when uncle would leave him completely alone training in a forest at night, during a week on a swamp, a few days on a desert planet. He remembered how alone he felt back then, how miserable and incapable. 

She stepped closer and closer that their faces were a few inches away from each other.

And he remembered how sometimes uncle would look at him with fear in his eyes. A vision of smoke and fire flooded his mind. That's enough! 

"You've always been so alone" for the first time her tone wasn't mocking. She took a step closer, "you dreamed a lot. Visions too" her voice sounded distant, as if she wasn't really here a few inches from him. 

Ben tried to push her away, but she kept tugging at him going deeper and deeper inside his memories. Their eyes locked, she was focused while he was breathless. Sweat dripped from both their faces. 

"Stop!" it was too much. Ben's head felt like it was being hammered wide open. 

The girl's mind arrived at a night of smoke and rain, a night where destruction was everywhere he looked. It triggered him and something snapped inside him. He felt his mind rushing clumsily through the girl's head. 

She was a child when she began training, but there were no other students beside her. She had always been alone in every lesson, every mission and every awaken hour. Fear and rage was the two only emotions in every vision. At night, she would imagine an ancient forest or a small island surrounded by a never ending sea. Her master never showed up, always hidden behind shadows. His voice was thundering. 

A wall was built around her memories, leaving him outside. 

His eyes locked once again with hers. She had taken a few steps back during the course of the mind reading; her expression was of pure terror. But... Ben still felt something binding them together. Could she feel it too? 

The girl turned on herself and strode out of the cell.


	6. The End of the Republic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there you go, another fresh chapter!!! I hope you enjoy it :)

Hux was already on the throne room when Kira arrived. He gave her a judgmental look with a victorious grin on his pasty face.

Kira tried to ignore the urge to force choke him, fixing her eye gaze on her master, several meters taller than her on the projection. She tried easing her head, afraid he could sense her anxiety. She could almost still feel the Skywalker mind inside her own. The idea was haunting her.

"The wayfinder is in the possession of the Resistance" Snoke's voice was grave. He tapped his thrones arm with his long fingers. "You know what it means, don't you?"

Kira lowered her head. It meant failure. It meant Luke Skywalker could be reached out. It meant a defeat for the First Order and to herself.

She could feel General Hux's eyes set on her, mocking her.

But not everything was lost.

"Master, I found Skywalker's nephew... we still can-"

"General Hux is Starkiller Base ready to launch an attack?" Snake cut her off. Blood shot up to her cheeks. _Is_ _Master_ _really_ _choosing_ _Hux's_ _plan_ _over mine?_

Starkiller base was a massive weapon prepared to take out an entire system if needed to. Billions of lives would be lost.

"But Maste-"

"Silence! Your lack of capability to go through a plan has cost us a great defeat. Should Skywalker be found, hope would be restored in the galaxy " He turned to Hux again, who was standing straighter and prouder than ever, "Seek preparations to strike the Hosnian Prime system" Hux nodded "You can leave now, you" he pointed at Kira "stay".

Hux scowled at Kira before leaving.

"Why haven't you killed the Skywalker?"

The girl blinked behind the mask.

"I thought he would be useful in finding Skywalker"

Snoke leaned on his throne. "You have compassion for him" he sounded surprised.

"Compassion? For an enemy of the Order? I-"

"Bring him to me"

She lowered her head again, "Yes Master".

*

After the end of the attack, the Resistance had ordered the crew to follow them with the Falcon. The journey to D'Qar was made in complete silent. Ben had been kidnapped unconscious, there was even a chance he was already dead. At least they still had the wayfinder to find Luke Skywalker, he for sure would know what to do. If only there was a force sensitive to read it.

He looked at Han Solo, his face reminded him so much of Ben when he was deep in thought. Finn could never imagine what a father could feel when losing their own son. Had his parents cried for him? Had they tried to search for him? Had they just accepted their loss and moved on with their lives? Ben was so ungrateful for having a dad that liked him and still treating him like garbage. Finn wished Han was his father. Maybe they could be close someday.

"What's that?!" Rose pointed at the window. A dark red light was traveling across the void of the universe. He's heart was beginning to sink on his chest. The air felt heavier around him.

"That's bad"

Poe and Rose turned to him. Solo grabbed his shoulder, "do you know anything?".

Finn swallowed hard. "When I was a stormtrooper, I was sent to work on the preparation of a new military base named Starkiller Base" he breathed hard, "it's a militarized base with a superweapon meant to destroy planets and even whole systems".

"Oh that's bad" Poe turned his attention to the communicators "Hey, any information on the red lights at our right?"

A response came almost immediately.

"The Hosnian system has been almost completely annihilated! The Republic is no more!"

Rose pressed her hands against her lips. Finn only noticed he was crying when he felt the salty wetness of tears on his lips. An entire system with billions and billions of life forms had been completely destroyed in a matter of minutes.

And the Resistance still thought they had a chance against the First Order? They must have been insane! He should run away when he had the chance...

 _"Hey kid,_ _what's_ _your_ _name_ _?" Ben_ _had_ _asked_ _after_ _taking_ _him_ _out_ _of_ _his_ _hideout_ _._ _They_ _were_ _sitting_ _on_ _an_ _old_ _aircraft's_ _common_ _room. Ben_ _had_ _made_ _a hot_ _cup_ _of_ _blue_ _milk_ _for_ _him_ _to drink. Finn_ _was_ _only_ _17_ _at_ _the_ _time,_ _too_ _afraid_ _to_ _even_ _talk_ _or_ _drink_ _the_ _milk_ _even_ _though_ _it_ _had_ _been_ _weeks_ _since_ _he_ _had_ _drunk_ _or_ _eaten_ _something_ _hot._

 _"FN-2187"_ _he_ _answered_ _,_ _inspecting_ _his_ _cup_ _. "_ _It's_ _the_ _only_ _name_ _I've_ _known_ _"_ _he_ _didn't_ _even_ _had_ _the_ _courage_ _to_ _look_ _at_ _Solo._

 _"_ _At_ _what_ _age_ _were_ _you taken?"_

 _"I_ _don't_ _remember_ _, I_ _was_ _probably_ _5 but I_ _have_ _no_ _memory_ _of_ _my_ _life_ _before_ _the_ _First_ _Order_ _"_

 _Ben_ _scratched_ _his_ _chin_ _thoughtfully_ _, "_ _they_ _must_ _have_ _been_ _planning_ _this_ _for_ _years_ _then_ _"_ _his_ _brows_ _were_ _knitted_ _together_ _, "_ _it_ _doesn't_ _matter_ _,_ _what_ _do you_ _want_ _to_ _call_ _yourself_ _?"_

 _Finn_ _shrugged_ _._ _He_ _had_ _never_ _thought_ _about_ _that_ _,_ _even_ _in_ _these_ _last_ _weeks_ _as a_ _fugitive_ _._ _He_ _had_ _always_ _been_ _FN-2187. FN..._

 _"_ _Maybe_ _... "_ _he_ _looked_ _deeply_ _at_ _the_ _milk_ _inside_ _his_ _chipped_ _cup_ _,"_ _maybe_ _Finn... "_

 _"Finn"_ _he_ _laid_ _back_ _on_ _the_ _sofa_ _,_ _crossing_ _the_ _arms_ _in_ _from_ _of_ _his_ _chest_ _"well nice to meet you Finn and welcome to_ _the_ _crew"_

Finn rubbed his forehead. He really had to go save Solo.

*

Ben was still locked on the dark cell. Only when the girl had left did he notice it was very similar to the one he had seen in his vision. But, fortunately, there was no sign of Vader's melted helmet.

He looked at the two stormtroopers guarding the door. He had to escape no matter at what costs... he was sure it wouldn't take long for the girl to come and kill him. She had seen his head and she knew he was in no way useful to find Skywalker.

He thought about Finn, Rose and Chewie... were they okay? He hoped they had escaped the attack. On the other hand, he wished Poe had been hit by a bulldozer. Or a canon blaster had exploded him into bits. _Han_ , his heart ached, he didn't really matter.

Ben shook his head. Those thoughts were the reason he could never be a jedi for he was sure it wouldn't take much to make him turn to the dark side _._ _It_ _also_ _runs_ _in_ _the_ _family_ , the mean voice inside his head mocked. _Focus_ , he retorted. It wouldn't take long for the girl to be back, he had to be gone before that.

He prepared his mind again, taking in a deep breathe. He felt his body stabilizing, his heart beating steadily in his chest. _The_ _force_ _is_ _being_ _proven_ _very_ _useful_ _,_ _don't_ _you think kid?_ His uncle joked inside his mind. He hated hearing his uncle's voice.

Focus, you don't have much time. He channeled the force, feeling it undulating around the troopers. Thankfully, it was easier to enter a non-sensitive head than a trained force sensitive. "You are going to free me" his gaze lowered to the weapons being carried by them "you're also going to give me your blaster". The troopers, in complete silence, took out his restrains and gave him the blaster. They were slowly regaining their own autonomy when Ben spread his arms to his sides, sending both troopers against the walls.

Sometimes, being force sensitive was almost worth it. 


	7. A Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!   
> here's a new fresh chapter! Hope everyone likes it! I just want you to know that I'm very thankful for every kudo, comment or just view you guys do on my fanfic! I write this mostly for fun and because I miss Ben Solo every day and I'm so happy that others are enjoying this little fanfic I'm writing!

_I_ _am_ _really_ _meeting Leia_ _Organa_ _,_ Finn was almost at the point of thworing up if the situation wasn't so dire. This wasn't a tourist trip to go meet the legends of the galaxy. The freedom of the galaxy depended on this small group of people. The Resistance was way smaller than he had imagined - in his head, the Resistance occupied various military bases with pilots all alike Poe Dameron. But instead, it had only one base one a small planet with scrawny and dubious looking people. Panic crashed into his veins again, _they_ _had_ _absolutely_ _no chance._

And yet, he felt a sense of calmness when he laid his eyes on Leia Organa. She was a small women (smaller than he imagined) but something about her posture and the dim light in her eyes showed a strong and condifent woman. _My_ _mom's_ _an_ _idealist_ _,_ he remembered Ben say a few hours ago. 

Her deep brown set of eyes landed on Han and an 'oh' whisper left her mouth. "Leia, they got our son!" Han ran to her, wrapping her petite figure around his arms, "I saw him and they got him.". The sadness in her eyes was enough for Finn to look away. He felt like he wasn't supposed to see that moment of such vulnerability between the couple. They loved Ben so much, it made Finn feel waves of jealousy that felt more like tsunamis crashing and ripping his heart to pieces. What could have justified for the Solo child to just leave his parents like it was nothing? Finn felt sick. 

"What happened? How did you find him?" Leia had stopped their embrace, grabbing Solo's face with both her hands. Han place a gentle hand on top of hers, "We saw Falcon's signal and when we got there it was Ben that was controlling it. We were in Takodana when the First Order attacked, they must have recognized him and kidnapped him. I'm so sorry..."

Leia smiled with tears shinning in her eyes. "It's okay, we're getting him back".

Poe stepped in, "we believe they took him to Starkiller Base, they might use the superweapon again so we need to attack and we'll retrieve Ben in the process".

Leia nodded, "I'll call everyone for a meeting right away", and finally her eyes landed on Finn and Rose, "and I don't remember these new recruits."

The pilot smiled, "they're from Ben's crew, Finn and Rose Tico".

"Just Finn? No surname?" She raised her eyebrow.

"He can have my name" Poe joked, winking at him. Finn was relieved his face didn't blush. _Focus_.

"I was a stormtrooper, FN-2187. I ran away... your son found me and hired me to his crew" At the mention of her son, Leia smiled but her eyes were so full of sadness, "I will help you get your son back. I've been on Starkiller Base, I know it's insides like no other."

Leia Organa stepped towards him, grabbing his hands with her own. They were so warm and his oh so damn sweaty. She didn't care, instead she gave him a smile. "Thank you". 

***

Kira arrived at the prisoner's cell to find it wide open with two confused stormtroopers inside. Her blood boiled. "what happened here?!" her voice was rough, her chest tightened. If she went to Snoke empty handed after he had accused her of having compassion for the Skywalker... She was doomed. "He... he escaped" the guard mumbled, scratching the shiny helmet on their head. Kira laughed, but it wasn't really a laugh and more like a growl. "Oh he escaped?" she ignited her staffsaber, crashing it against the wall. "He escaped! Only if there was anyone protecting the exit door!" she yelled as she slammed it again and again at the walls.  
Smoke was coming of the walls when she finished, feeling her knees wobble below her. The troopers had escaped during the meltdown so she let herself fall on her knees to the ground.  
She had to find Skywalker before he was able to escape the Base. Snoke would not forgive this failure. Her knights would never trust her again.  
A single tear escaped her eyes.  
_No time for_ _thi_ s. She ordered her legs to stand up, placing her saber in her back. It wouldn't be too hard to follow the force around Skywalker. She just needed to focus. He was still in the Base, she could feel his energy tugging at her. Maybe not everything was lost. 

***

Han landed the Falcon in a snow covered forest, away enough from the base so they weren't caught but close enough that they wouldn't freeze to death. "Do you have the detonators?" Han looked at him, that just nodded quickly, "okay let's go". Finn grabbed his blaster, his hands suddenly shaky. He really was doing this, there was no turning back now.  
"You explode the shields off so we can have the Resistance coming in while I look for Ben" Han was walking a few steps ahead of them despite his age. Chewie growled, disagreeing. "Okay fine, you can come with me" Han replied. How he understood him was a mystery Finn hoped we would discover someday. Was there wookiees language classes somewhere in the galaxy? He supposed there was.  
The sudden sound of speeders made them hide behind one of the structures. 

***

"He's not on the 783rd floor" a trooper informed her as she strode along the corridors. "If Skywalker hasn't been found yet what makes you think you can just stand here and chat with me?" she barked at him. She _needed_ to find him. She _had_ to find him or she would be doomed. Snoke would never trust her again... He would kill her for being weak and pathetic. Fear and anger built up in her blood, bones and muscles. It fueled her so she wouldn't crumble right there in front of troopers. Her eyes burned. Her skin and heart and head all burned.  
_Where_ _are you?_  
And then she felt him, a force of pure joy and sadness all mixed together. But so strong it almost shook her to her core. He was closer than she had expected and she was coming for him. 


	8. To Take You Home

Ben clutched the weapon to his chest, while staying pressed against the wall. He could hear steps not very far from where he was hidden. If the girl had felt him... He couldn't think about it right now. Also, he had his weapon, if he was fast he could strike her. _Or_ _she_ _could_ _just_ _paralyse_ _you._ The memories of the encounter on the Takodana forest sent a shiver down his spine. Although a little rusty, Ben was skilled in the force and he still had been bested by a girl younger than him.   
This wasn't the time to start feeling the humiliation sinking deep in his skin. Instead, he prepared the weapon to shoot at whatever it was coming to his direction.   
He let go of the cold feel of the wall on his back and went face first into a tall figure. "What the-" he heard a voice, a very familiar voice. He opened his eyes to see his father standing next to him with Chewie. He didn't understand. Had they come for him?   
"Ben!" His dad pulled him into an embrace, a strong one at that. Ben was almost unable to breathe as his father hugged him tight against his chest. Just like when he was a child. Before the training to be a jedi or the lies. When they would just drive together on the Falcon with Chewie on the co-pilot seat.   
His eyes filled with hot tears as he hugged his dad back. For the first time in many many years he let himself cry with his face buried on dad's shoulder. And he admit to himself how afraid he had been. He thought no one would help him escape, that he would have to do it on his own. His chest burned.   
He suddenly felt a furry paw on his shoulder as Chewbacca pulled them into a warm hug, growling affectionately.   
Ben wished this had been his life - no force sensitivity, no jedi training, no parents with afraid eyes looking at him. Chewie patted him on the head and he laughed, tears still streaming down his face. "Okay okay, enough with the pity party" his voice was hoarse in between sobs. Han broke off the hug but still place a hand on his son's face, studying it closely, "You grew up", his eyes brimmed with tears, "okay, let's get Finn".   
Ben's eyes went wide, "Finn's here?"   
"Who do you think came up with this plan?"

***

Finn was really proud of setting all the detonators by himself. With no guards catching him. Now he just needed Chewie and Solo to bring Ben to where he was so he could set the explosions off. They didn't have much time, he notice as looking at one of the glass windows. The sky was getting darker, it was almost pitch black as the monstrous planet was seizing the system sun's power.   
Chewbacca was the first one that caught his attention as the hairy creature walked over the bridge to come to his side. Ben and Han were close behind him. _Ben_ _is_ _alive!_ He was happier than he thought he would feel.   
His happiness was cut short, though.   
"Stop right now!" a trooper had appeared, stepping on the bridge with his blaster at the ready. "Don't move!" he pointed the gun at Ben, they must've been looking for him.   
"Shoot him, immediately!" a ginger gelled-hair caught Finn's attention. He recognized the man immediately as Armitage Hux with his pasty white face.   
Everything happened too fast and too slow. The soldier prepared the blaster and shot it while Han pushed Ben off the bridge into the floor. Ben, on the ground, screamed at the same time the blast hit Han's back. The air escaped Finn's lungs as Ben's shrieks filled the air and Chewbacca let animalistic growls. Finn couldn't move, couldn't think. He just wept, paralysed on the spot.   
But Ben got up, even from afar, he could see he was trembling violently. He raised his arms and both the trooper and Hux were on the air, scratching their necks and grasping for air. Like someone was choking them. Was Ben doing this? He could see his fists closed like they were grabbing invisible necks, taking the life out of invisible people. 

Ben could not see as he force gripped the trooper and the ginger up in the air, choking them so tightly that they would die in over a few minutes. He wanted them gone, they deserve to be gone. And he should be the one taking their miserable lives. Tears ran on his cheeks, leaving a salty taste on his lips. He screamed, feeling their life's escaping their bodies.   
"Ben"  
His dad's voice was soft, almost inaudible "Son", he spoke again. Ben looked at his dad, expecting to see fear in his dying eyes. Instead, he saw love. He fell on his knees, letting the old man touch his face one more time. One last time. The pain was insufferable as they shared a long look. He was trying to memorize his dad's face. How his lips were always aligned in a half grin, how his long nose reminded him of his own. How it felt to have dad's eyes fixed on him with warmth and love. He had so much to say to him but he couldn't force his lips to part or his voice to speak. "I'm sorry kid" the old man spoke instead. Ben shook his head. "Go... go to your mother. I- I promised her I- I wo- would take you home" Han Solo smiled for one last time and his eyes became cold.   
The light from the sun had disappeared completely now. Everything was red from the lights of the base. Ben could still feel the faint life coming from the two unconscious figures. He could take their lives right now. A grin pried on his face while he imagined feeling the lives of those two slipping through his fingers. How good it would feel for them to suffer just as equal as he was suffering.   
"Ben! We have to go!" Finn wrapped his arms around him, pushing him away. "Let's go!"   
The girl, already with her mask on, was crossing now the bridge with her staff already turned on. Her attention, thankfully, was on Ben so she missed Chewbacca's movement when he aimed his bow cast at her. The blast hit her side, taking her various step backs.   
It was their cue to leave. Finn pushed Ben harder and ran while grabbing him into the exit door.   
He hit the detonators as soon as they were faraway enough from the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a little hard to write but I felt it was an important moment for Ben... I hope everyone likes it :)


	9. Finn's Bravery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! I'm so sorry for taking so long but college just started and I've been kinda busy! here's a small chapter (I promise the next one's will be a longer 😅). Hope you enjoy it!

The darkness was overwhelming. Far away, he could hear the sound of x-wings crashing through the air and the sounds of explosions. They had to find the Falcon before the whole planet exploded. "Chewie go to the right, I'll go left! We'll find the Falcon sooner this way!", the wookiee agreed, splitting up with them. Ben hadn't said a word, still moving only because Finn kept pulling at his sleeve.   
Finn was still shaking. Images of Han Solo dying kept coming to his mind. He was really gone. They had been happily talking during the afternoon and now he laid dead on a military base of the enemy forces. And the only thing he could do was to force Ben to run and leave his father's dead body behind.   
And Finn kept pushing him deeper and deeper into the woods. The snow was so high that it was starting to get difficult to walk. But they had to leave because if they didn't die from the collapsing of the planet, they would die from being captured by the First Order. He couldn't imagine which death was worse.   
A red light appeared behind a tree accompanied by a dark clothed figure. Finn pushed Ben back and his eyes connected to the figure. It was a girl but no doubt it was the mysterious person that had tried to kill them on Jakku. But it was a girl and she looked like she was Finn's age. Her eyes were set on Ben, while she twirled her saber. "You're not going anywhere! Han Solo can't save you!" she barked, almost desperately. At the mention of his dad's names, Ben raised a hand but before he could do something the girl force-slammed him into a tree trunk. He fell unconscious.   
_I'm_ _dea_ d. Finn realized. He was for sure about to die. And there would be no one to mourn him, to grab his dead body and weep him. He would die as a stranger. An anonymous identity. And then his body would explode with the planet. And no one would remember him.   
He didn't want to die, specially going against a sith. Or was she just a dark Knight? _no time for_ _technicalities_ _Finn!_  
He tried to run.   
"FN-2187, am I correct?" The ominous voice made him stop in his tracks. She knew him. How? "I remember you the day you escaped, I could feel you were a coward wanting to run away" she twirled her saber as she came closer to him. Blood was dripping for her side, tainting the snow as she walked.   
For the first time Finn felt the lightsaber attached to his belt. And he looked to where Ben was laying unconscious. Was he such a coward that would leave him to this monster's mercy?   
He looked at the girl again. Her face twisted in pain with every step she took. Her free hand kept punching and squeezing the wound. Finn could notice she was clearly distraught. Maybe he could take her, buying time for Ben to wake up or Chewie to come with the Falcon.   
Determination set his mind and he unlatched the lightsaber, turning it on once again. The intense blue light shone against the snow.   
"You think you can fight me?" the girl snarled at him. The sabers met with a clang, setting sparks everywhere. "You're not strong enough, traitor!" she swirled her saber once again, aiming for his shoulder. Finn met it with his own saber again, pushing her away. The girl used the other end of the staff to strike Finn's leg. Pain ran down his leg as the smell of burnt skin - _his_ _skin_ \- filled his nostrils. He stumbled back while the girl circled him, twirling her staff. Finn breathed in. He striked again and, by luck or fate, his blade touched the girl's arm ripping the skin apart. She hissed and she attacked again. Her saber connected first with Finn's arm making him whirl on himself and then it slashed through his spine.   
Finn had no reaction as he fell to the ground. The pain felt like it was too much and nothing at all at the same time.   
The last thing he remembered was how cold the snow was against his face.


End file.
